A Friend in Need is Friend Indeed

That's what Friends are For



As the song says in the friends in need are friends indeed - this note was posted by a friend of mine Kelly Kappmeier on Facebook and the original note she posted on Facebook (warning these link probably requires you to join Facebook). Here's the note:

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Hello all my Facebook friends and family. I'm reaching out to all of you now for help. Please read.

This story will break your heart. I want to tell you a true story of the struggles my best friend's family has had to go through the past few months. Rachel Amato VanAtta was diagnosed with complete kidney failure two years ago when she was 27 and a mother of four small children. This January after two years of hell with dialysis and excruciatingly painful treatments and 13 blood transfusions she finally received a kidney from her brother. This was January 21st. I went to her home twice a week and watched her children while she was stuck at Stanford hospital two hours away.

In February three weeks after her transplant her body started rejecting her kidney. During that week my Mother went into the hospital while I was watching her kids. Rachel made it out of rejection and instead of going home she drove from Stanford and came too the hospital to see my Mother. My Mom died the next day. Now remember, this is a woman that Rachel has loved for the past 18 years of our friendship. Amongst of all her hell she made every effort to be there for me and my family.

For a little while (maybe a month) everything seemed to be getting back to normal until her 18 month old was found to have lead poisoning at his 18 month check up. They tested the other four children and found that one of her 3 1/2 year old twins also had lead poisoning. Now they have the State of California on them and in their home trying to figure out the cause. They determined it was the paint on the outside of the house. While they were getting their landlord to re-side the house and remove the paint, her husband was laid off from his job due to the economy. The house was resided a month later. They moved back into their home for two days to then be told exactly 5 months after Rachel received her kidney transplant her 3 1/2 year old son Andrew was diagnosed with Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia (sp?). She has been at the hospital with him now for a week. She hasn't seen her other three kids at all. Why you ask? That's a very good question and brings me to the point of my diatribe.

On the extremely limited income they have they cannot afford to pay for a hotel to have their children up there with them. Their grandmother is with them now but is having a very hard time managing three small children and has to go back to work on Monday. Stanford will actually allow all the kids to be with them throughout the entire day if only they could afford a hotel where one parent and the other three kids can sleep at night. They have worked with a social worker who's been trying to get them discounted housing in the Ronald McDonald house but their family is too large and they are way down on the waiting list. The doctors have told Rachel that at the earliest Drew will be able to go home is three or four more weeks. At that time they have the option to come back to Stanford twice a week for his aggressive chemo therapy and labs which will continue for no less than three years. Until he starts taking to his chemo and turning around his disease, he has to stay there and a parent must be with him at all times.

So, what they need is donations so they can afford to bring their other children up to Stanford. Can you imagine being this family and not being able to see your other children? Can you imagine being a 3 1/2 year old stuck in the hospital getting poked and prodded and losing your hair and throwing up and not being able to eat or move around too much? Also, this little boy has a twin brother. He has not been without his brother for a day in his entire life! Can you imagine what that is doing to the twin at Grandma’s? The only thing Rachel can do is call her other children and hear them crying and begging to be with her and their brother.

The social worker was able to secure hotels with a heart that will offer them a severely discounted rate of approximately $60 a night for two full sized beds. If we think best case scenario and Drew will get to come home after three weeks, that’s around $1300. That does not include food for the other five members of the family. I was there yesterday and bought lunch for Rachel, Brad, and myself and it was over $30. Dinner was the same expense.

My goal is to raise them $2000 so they can be a family for the next three or four weeks and all be together while Drew is going through this horrible experience. Eric and I have already donated $500 to help pay for their rent in Turlock for July even though they aren’t even able to live in it. At least they’ll have a house to come home to. Our friends Dyani & Jon Gingerich have given them $100 for incidentals this week which they will go through in a couple days just on meals for the two of them.

How you can help? Here are some options:

1. Donate money directly into their PayPal account. You go to www.PayPal.com. Their account is under rachamato@hotmail.com. From what I understand, that’s it.
2. Send a check a money order to me and I will bring every dime to them. You can private message me on FB or email me at kelly.kappmeier@gmail.com and I’ll provide you with my mailing address.
3. Purchase gift cards for Target, Gas, etc. and mail them to me. Again, contact me with the info above.
4. The last thing and the one thing that doesn’t have a monetary value is to PRAY! They need all the prayers they can get.

Thank you all for reading and hopefully helping a family who is in great need. I know that in this economy it's a terrible time for everyone but right now, I'm hard pressed to find someone else in more need then this amazing family. Thank you again.

Kelly Kappmeier


Andrew VanAtta - One week into diagnosis two days into chemotherapy. Really happy about his R2D2 toy I got him.















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So if you can help - please contact Kelly directly at her e-mail address: kelly.kappmeier@gmail.com or you could send money directly to via PayPal (here's the link to Paypal Send money) to Rachel's Paypal Account under: rachamato@hotmail.com
Every little bit helps......

Don't Block Fire Hydrants

Picture says it all

When things in Life Seem Too Much to Handle

When things in your life seem, Almost too much to handle,
When 24 Hours in a day is not enough,
Remember the mayonnaise jar and 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class

And had some items in front of him.
When the class began, wordlessly,
He picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar
And proceeded to fill it with golf balls.

He then asked the students, if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured
them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly.
The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again
If the jar was full... They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand

And poured it into the jar.. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.
He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded
With an unanimous 'yes.'

The professor then produced Two cups of coffee from under the table
And poured the entire contents Into the jar, effectively
Filling the empty space between the sand.
The students laughed.

'Now,' said the professor, As the laughter subsided,
'I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life..
The golf balls are the important things - God, family,
children, health, friends, and favorite passions –

Things that if everything else was lost

And only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter Like your job, house, and car.

The sand is everything else --
The small stuff.

'If you put the sand into the jar first,' He continued,
'there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls.
The same goes for life..

If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff,
You will never have room for the things that are
Important to you.

So...

Pay attention to the things That are critical to your happiness.
Playwith your children.
Take time to get medical checkups.
Take your partner out to dinner.

There will always be time
To clean the house and fix the disposal.

'Take care of the golf balls first --
The things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.'

One of the students raised her hand
And inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled.
'I'm glad you asked'.

It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem,
there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend.'

Please share this with other "Golf Balls"

I just did...

Airport Security and our Military

What a sad event to witness....the security "process" loaded onto our young men and women who serve our country. I found myself in the middle of a block of twenty or so of our active members of the military - most in uniform, all apparently taking a few days leave.

I watched with dismay as they passed through security - all carrying their distinctive backpacks loaded with their personal possessions. Time after time I watched as they pulled a range of cosmetics and were forced to throw expensive items into the trash in the name of security. The TSA employees were polite and as nice as they could be but you could feel the frustration of these young men and women as they were forced to throw away perfectly good and in some cases expensive cosmetics. As one young soldier put it

That's forty dollars right there

As he threw away two bottles of skin care solutions. The TSA employee suggested he could go back and check the bag and could keep them. But it turns out that the airlines punitive policy on checked baggage is a deterrent - it might not seem like much but it all adds up.

There appeared to be some flexibility in the standard security policy - this group were not forced to take off their shoes unless the security system beeped indicating metal (interesting side note the security screening devices actual indicate a general location - high/low of where the sensor indicates the presence of metal). So there was some flexibility (the one individual who was not in uniform was forced to take off his shoes).

Good lord - these men and women risk their lives in the name of our country every day and yet are subjected to the same miserable experiences that purport to secure air travel (there are many reviews suggesting that the liquid ban has little to do with risk and more to give the impression of giving the appearance of security - Bruce Schneier on evading the security and here on the implausibility of the liquid explosive plot).

They all carry secure digital ID's with encoded personal information and are easily identified. Who wants to bet that the pilots and law enforcement officers who travel and go through their own separate security carrying a legal weapon probably get to take more than 3oz of liquids in their carry on....?

It was a sad sight to watch these individuals - they all took it in good spirit but you could tell in their voices and actions they were frustrated.

Know Where You are Going - You May Already be There

A boat docked in a tiny Hawaiian village. An American tourist complimented the Hawaiian fisherman on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took him to catch them.

"Not very long," answered the Hawaiian.

"But then, why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?" asked the American.

The Hawaiian explained that his small catch was sufficient to meet his needs and those of his family.

The American asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, and take a siesta with my wife. In the evenings, I go into the village to see my friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. I have a full life."

The American interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you! You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch. With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?" asked the Hawaiian.

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Honolulu, Los Angeles, or even New York City! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?" asked the Hawaiian?

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years," replied the American.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards? Well my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the American, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the Hawaiian.

"After that you'll be able to retire, live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

And the moral of this story is: ... Know where you're going in life... you may already be there!

Minority Report One Step Closer in Our Living Room

Minority report got one step closer with the "Natal" announcement from Microsoft for their XBox system. The motion sensing add on features gestures and attempts combat the big success of the Nintendo Wii which makes the interaction simple and intuitive



You can read more about it here

H1-B Misery Leads to Brain Drain

In the current climate it's unpopular to talk about overseas graduates taking American jobs but having personally experienced this process I can attest to the misery that many suffer trying to get in to the US legally. The H1-B process is a quagmire of inefficiency but it is one of the main routes for high quality and highly educated graduates to get into the US

Yes it's a tough economy and we are loosing jobs but that's true worldwide. It's no reason to change one of the key factors in the success of the United States that created an attractive welcoming environment that highly educated productive overseas national want to come and work in. These are the individuals we want to stay and to attract to help build and strengthen our country and our economy.

Rally in Support of Those Imprisoned for Expression

Freedom of Speech - One of Our Great Liberties. I join others who are part of the blog rally for bloggers that are dying - it started here for Roxana Saberi - the NPR reporter incarcerated in Tehran.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights states, "Everyone has the right to freedom of opinion and expression; this right includes freedom to hold opinions without interference, and impart information and ideas through any media regardless of frontiers."

Journalist Roxana Saberi has been incarcerated in Tehran's Evin Prison, where she is spending her birthday on a hunger strike. Around the world, people continue to face similar violations of their rights to freedom of expression, free speech, and a free press. Let's show the international community that we won't be silenced by intimidation and tyranny - that we won't stop believing in and fighting for these rights.

Freedom of the press is not a luxury. It lies at the heart of making this world healthier and more just. People without a voice and without a clear line of sight into the things that would threaten or corrupt their societies cannot hope for equitable growth and meaningful change.

A group of bloggers is holding a blog rally in support of journalists, bloggers, students, and writers who have dared to express their thoughts freely and have been imprisoned, abused, or killed.

Please consider "wearing" a blue ribbon online this week on your blogs, websites, and facebook / myspace / twitter pages, and invite others to do the same. Get the discussion going, and keep it going!

Are Americans More Polite

Personal experiences and those anecdotally from friends and colleagues from Europe living in the US lead me to believe that this country is more friendly and more polite.

All this could just a simple cause and effect because I am more positive towards the country I live in but a recent conversation with another European who had similar experiences lends some credence to the idea that people are just more polite and friendly here in the US.

On a recent trip back to Europe he used local public transportation from his house to the airport and as is typical had a positive interaction with the driver who wished him a great day and a pleasant vacation. Arriving in his old home where the local public trasnportation system had changed he boarded the bus unsure of the destination and made the mistake of asking the driver......he was berated for asking the question since as the driver said "can you not read, the information is on the outside of this bus". Now I would not suggest that this is always the case and I am sure others can relate the reverse case where arriving in the US visitors feel they are treated rudely. I know many visitors complain quietly for fear of repercussions about the unpleasant experience entering the US through immigration and the feeling that you are a criminal until proven otherwise when stood opposition the immigration officer at you US port of entry. But that aside the general tone always appears to be more polite and positive.

The idea that someone would speak to you in an elevator (UK translation - lift) and wish you a "good day" is alien to most. If I am honest with myself I would own up to my own discomfort when I first arrived here to what I perceived to be a superficial pleseantry of the "Have a Good day" exchange. But time and experience has made this activity a staple of my life here and one I actually enjoy. In fact there is good evidence that being happy affects even those you don't know and the act of smiling has a positive effect on everyone around you. In this report on the HHS site "Being Happy Affects Even Those You Don't Know" the conclusions are clear - happiness is contagious:

Our own personal happiness spreads beyond people we're directly connected to

So consider this as you face your day - smiling has a postive effect all around you and also affects your own mood. Smiling is easier and while the full results are undetermined per this review of the material that circulates regularly in our in boxes on the number of muscles to smile vs frowning:

It is not a cure-all for every situation but in terms of getting us past a small dose of the blues, it can help to lift the sense of sadness being experienced

So perhaps in the current economic climate there may be reason to be hopeful in the US since the culture is more positive and proud that this will help carry us through this crisis and out the other side quickly

As the the article said:

People who are surrounded by many happy people are more likely to be happy in the future than those who are surrounded by unhappy people

I'm happy are you?

Customer Service Done Right

I traveled on a flight recently from Pittsburgh (PIT) to Chicago (ORD) UA153 which was headed up by Captain Denny Flanagan who has a reputation in the frequent flyer community for going above and beyond and was featured in the Wall Street Journal not so long ago. To the right is First Officer Les Bourne and the left/below is Captain Denny Flanagan



This flight was no exception and it has been my pleasure to fly on aircraft piloted by him a couple of times and he always goes above and beyond.

He demonstrates the values of customer service that so many could learn from. He introduced himself at the gate, made a joke about it being his first flight ......today and then let everyone know what to expect on the flight. At boarding he handed out information cards on the Boeing 767 aircraft - more on that later. Then explained why we sat on the tarmac for an extended delay (flight computer problem), apologized and detailed how he was going to do his best to make up the time by flying higher and faster at greater cost the airline (4 gallons to the mile apparently).

In flight he apologized again for the delay and provided his e-mail address and cell number for any passenger who might want to contact him direct to learn more or might need help with connections in Chicago as, and I quote "I have an hour layover before I take the plan on the LA".

He then let people know that the cards he gave included a couple with signatures that if held would be exchanged for a bottle of wine. Only one was claimed, no doubt because someone had dismissed the simple gesture of handing cards out at boarding and thown it away. FYI - asking at boarding if you happen to be on a flight for his autograph won't work :-(

He represents customer service at its best. Simple things, communication, and a genuine interest and desire to deliver a service treating problems as his own and not someone else's responsibility. They should hand out their customer assessment cards after any of his flights and get a comparison to satisfaction rates for his flights relative to a "normal" flight. And someone should e-mail Glen Tulman and tell him to get the rest of the staff into his plane to see how great service is delivered.

I'd like to have posted this at FlyerTalk but there was no easy way to include their photos and I was thrilled to capture a snapshot of the crew.

Thanks to Captain Denny and First Officer Les

Soccer Coaching Introductory Letter

This was too good not to share

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WELCOME back!

The fall Pixie League soccer season officially kicks off next week, and I'd like to take this opportunity to let you know the schedule and provide guidelines. I'm sure we all agree that, with the Grasshoppers' 1 - 12 record last season, there's plenty of room for improvement this fall! With a view to maximizing our performance, this summer I attended the National Conference of Pixie League Coaches, held in King of Prussia, Pa. I did some valuable networking and came away truly "pumped."

PHYSICAL TRAINING

Per my memo last June regarding the summer-training regimen, your nine- year-old daughter should now be able to: (a) run a mile in under five minutes with cinder blocks attached to each ankle (lower body); (b) bench-press the family minivan (upper body); (c) swim a hundred yards in fifty-degree water while holding her breath (wind); (d) remain standing while bowling balls are thrown at her (stamina).

PRACTICE SCHEDULE

Mondays, Wednesdays, Fridays: 5:30 A.M.

Tuesdays, Thursdays: 5:30 P.M.

Sundays: 7 A.M.

Columbus Day Weekend: 7:30 A.M.

Note: Live ammunition will be used at the Thursday practice.

VIDEO CRITIQUE OF GAMES

Mondays, 8 P.M. Parents strongly urged to attend. See "Camera Dads"

sign-up list (Attachment E). Note: Professional-quality video cameras preferred.

GAME SCHEDULE

Saturdays, 8 A.M. Important: Please be sure to have your daughter there at least two hours before game time for the pregame strategy briefing and pep rally. Note: As the girls will be biting the heads off live animals, we will need lots of guinea pigs, hamsters, parakeets, etc. See sign-up list (Attachment P). No goldfish, please

HALFTIME SNACKS

Last year, there was some confusion about appropriate nourishment.

According to guidelines established by the N.C.P.L.C.'s Committee on Nutrition and Performance, "snacks high in carbohydrates, sucrose, and corn syrup have been demonstrated to provide dramatic short-term metabolic gain." So save those low-fat pretzels for your cocktail parties and bring on the Twinkies and Ring Dings. Let's make sure that when the Grasshoppers hit the field they're hoppin'!

USE OF STEROIDS

One of the many things I took away from the panel discussions at King of Prussia was that, contrary to medical guidelines, use of anabolic steroids by preteens is not necessarily a hundred per cent harmful.

(See Attachment Q: "New Thinking on Performance Boosters and

Mortality.") Grasshopper doctor dad Bill Hughes will discuss the merits of stanozolol versus fluoxymesterone and dispense prescriptions to all interested parents. (Participation encouraged!)

Note: If any Grasshopper parents are planning a vacation in Mexico, please see me about bringing back certain hard-to-get enhancers, like HGH (human-growth hormone) and EPO (erythropoeitin).

PARENTAL INPUT ON PLAYER SUBSTITUTIONS

Much as I appreciate your enthusiasm, it is not helpful if in the middle of a tense game situation you abuse me verbally - or, as one overzealous dad did last season, assault me physically - because I have not sent in your daughter. For this reason, I will be carrying a Taser with me at all times. These anti-assault devices deliver up to fifty thousand volts of electricity, and leave the recipient drooling and twitching for weeks. Though I will make every effort to see that each Grasshopper gets her turn on the field, if you get "in my face"

about it don't be "shocked, shocked." to find yourself flat on your back in need of cardiopulmonary resuscitation.

INJURIES

If your daughter has kept up with the summer-training program, there's no reason she shouldn't be able to finish out a game with minor injuries, such as hairline bone fractures or subdural hematomas. (Parental support needed!) Remember the Grasshopper motto:

"That which does not kill me makes me a better midfielder!"

CHEERLEADING

If the coaches at K. of P. were unanimous about anything, it was the key importance of parental screaming from the sidelines. This not only lets our girls know that Grasshopper parents do not accept failure but also alerts the other team that if they win you will probably "go postal" (kid talk for temporary insanity) and try to run them over in the parking lot after the game.

See you Monday morning!

<<<<<

There was a more recent instance here

That was also too good not to share

THE COACH’S ORIGINAL E-MAIL

Congratulations on being selected for Team 7 (forest green shirts) of the Scituate Soccer Club! My name is Michael and I have been fortunate enough to be selected to coach what I know will be a wonderful group of young ladies. Chris Mac will also be coaching and I expect the ever popular Terry to return to the sidelines. Our first game will be Saturday April 4 at 10:00AM. There will be a half hour of skills followed by a 1 hour game, so total time will be 1.5 hours. All games will be played on the fields in the front of the High School. Each player will be required to wear shin guards and cleats are recommended but not required. A ball will be provided to each player at the first meeting, and each player should bring the ball to games and practices. There is no set practice time allotted for the U8 teams, but I will convene with the coaches to determine the best time and place. If there are cancellations due to rain, all notices will be posted via the Scituate Soccer Club website, no calls will be made (though I will try to send an email). Attached is the Schedule and Code of Conduct. After listening to the head of the referees drone on for about 30 minutes on the dangers of jewelry (time which I will never get back), no player will be allowed to play with pierced ears, hairclips, etc. We used to tape the earings, but that practice is no longer acceptable. Please let me know if your child has any health issues that I need to be aware of. My home phone is 781 XXX XXXX, my cell number is 781 XXX XXXX, and I check my email frequently. According to my wife, my emails get too wordy, so for those of you read too slowly, are easily offended, or are too busy, you can stop here. For the others……

OK, here’s the real deal: Team 7 will be called Green Death. We will only acknowledge “Team 7” for scheduling and disciplinary purposes. Green Death has had a long and colorful history, and I fully expect every player and parent to be on board with the team. This is not a team, but a family (some say cult), that you belong to forever. We play fair at all times, but we play tough and physical soccer. We have some returning players who know the deal; for the others, I only expect 110% at every game and practice. We do not cater to superstars, but prefer the gritty determination of journeymen who bring their lunch pail to work every week, chase every ball and dig in corners like a Michael Vick pit bull. Unless there is an issue concerning the health of my players or inside info on the opposition, you probably don’t need to talk to me. Coach MacDonald has been designated “good guy” this year.

Some say soccer at this age is about fun and I completely agree. However, I believe winning is fun and losing is for losers. Ergo, we will strive for the “W” in each game. While we may not win every game (excuse me, I just got a little nauseated) I expect us to fight for every loose ball and play every shift as if it were the finals of the World Cup. While I spent a good Saturday morning listening to the legal liability BS, which included a 30 minute dissertation on how we need to baby the kids and especially the refs, I was disgusted. The kids will run, they will fall, get bumps, bruises and even bleed a little. Big deal, it’s good for them (but I do hope the other team is the one bleeding). If the refs can’t handle a little criticism, then they should turn in their whistle. The sooner they figure out how to make a decision and live with the consequences the better. My heckling of the refs is actually helping them develop as people. The political correctness police are not welcome on my sidelines. America’s youth is becoming fat, lazy and non-competitive because competition is viewed as “bad”. I argue that competition is good and is important to the evolution of our species and our survival in what has become an increasingly competitive global economy and dangerous world. Second place trophies are nothing to be proud of as they serve only as a reminder that you missed your goal; their only useful purpose is as an inspiration to do that next set of reps. Do you go to a job interview and not care about winning? Don’t animals eat what they kill (and yes, someone actually kills the meat we eat too – it isn’t grown in plastic wrap)? And speaking of meat, I expect that the ladies be put on a diet of fish, undercooked red meat and lots of veggies. No junk food. Protein shakes are encouraged, and while blood doping and HGH use is frowned upon, there is no testing policy. And at the risk of stating the obvious, blue slushies are for winners.

These are my views and not necessarily the views of the league (but they should be). I recognize that my school of thought may be an ideological shift from conventional norms. But it is imperative that we all fight the good fight, get involved now and resist the urge to become sweat-xedo-wearing yuppies who sit on the sidelines in their LL Bean chairs sipping mocha-latte-half-caf-chinos while discussing reality TV and home decorating with other feeble-minded folks. I want to hear cheering, I want to hear encouragement, I want to get the team pumped up at each and every game and know they are playing for something.

Lastly, we are all cognizant of the soft bigotry that expects women and especially little girls, to be dainty and submissive; I wholeheartedly reject such drivel. My overarching goal is develop ladies who are confident and fearless, who will stand up for their beliefs and challenge the status quo. Girls who will kick ass and take names on the field, off the field and throughout their lives. I want these girls to be winners in the game of life. Who’s with me?

Go Green Death!

--

KINAHAN’S RESIGNATION

Team, After careful consideration, I have decided to resign from all coaching responsibilities related to Team 7 this season. Unfortunately, it has come to my attention that some parents and the Board of Scituate Soccer failed to see the humor in my pre-season email. For the avoidance of doubt, the email was largely (albeit not completely) meant in jest and with the goal of giving the parents a chuckle while enduring yet another round of organized youth sports. It was also meant as a satire of those who take youth sports too seriously for the wrong reasons. My overarching goal is the well-being of my players, and I do not want any player to feel uncomfortable, nor do I want to see the team disbanded because of a lack of active players. Therefore, while I’d prefer to go down swinging, it’s really about the kids and it just makes more sense for me to take the year off.

While I respectfully disagree with the Board's interpretation of my comments, I believe that they should be commended for their immediate actions to address the concerns of the offended parties. The Board’s action proves that the chain of command is functioning as designed. Board members volunteer their valuable time and I do not plan to add to their already significant workload. I also respect those parents who were offended as I am sure they acted in the best interest of their children. While I may question their sense of humor, I have no right to question their judgment regarding their children. Perhaps we may even have beer (I’ll buy) and a couple of laughs at the end of all of this.

And while I am sorry some people failed to see the humor, I do not apologize for my actions; I wrote it, I think it's funny and I do have a distaste for the tediousness of overbearing political correctness. Furthermore, I was serious about parental involvement as I do believe parents should cheer and encourage players (in a positive fashion obviously) so that the kids feel the excitement that comes from team competition. And most importantly, I was completely serious that I want to see each young girl develop a positive self image, self-confidence and the will to succeed in any endeavor that she desires. Lastly, I have added some comments to my initial email (in capitals) to clarify several points that may have been viewed as offensive.

Sincerely,

Michael A. Kinahan

Technology in our Schools

Social networking is not bad.... for that matter <insert name of technology here> is not necessarily bad, it depends on uses. Mike Elgan's post "How Schools Fail Students on Technology" is an excellent expose on the current failure of schools trying to wrap their arms around technology. It's interesting to note that

The US spends more on education than any other nation, so the problem is not (as commonly portrayed) a funding crisis

It's about integrating technology into the classroom and as he says

The mobile Web, and many Web 2.0 sites, should be seen by educators as a Godsend

They aren't of course as the prevailing view is that "iPods and cell phones are a horrible distraction in schools, and should be banned, not leveraged". Mike advocates using the technology that rises to the top from usage (much liek Shakespeare rose to the top in his day) and suggests that

• Twitter
• Wikipedia and
• Facebook

Are a good place to start. Radical thinking but that is the way to shake up the system and if we are to fulfill our children's dreams we need to use the technology and not fight it. All the above trains have already left and if you think your students aren't on these system go check them out for yourself....Why not let them experience the power of these tools as part of the learning experience:

Those iPhones teachers find so distracting can call up 1.5 million books for free on just one site alone - Google Book Search

We want them to use the technology to get ahead and leverage all the innovation that has already occurred, not be hampered by some makeshift version created "especially" for education that is invariable over priced as well as poorly engineered.

Rather than fearing and banning gadgets and the social Web — then duplicating part of their functionality with unusable proprietary solutions — educators need to get busy leveraging what's already out there. These are the tools our culture has selected as the very best, most engaging, most relevant, most powerful available to us. The students are already immersed in these technologies and services.
If schools are ignoring, rejecting or banning the world students live in now, and will live in for the rest of their lives, and trying to force-feed them educational technologies from another world, an inferior world, a world that is gone forever, they will fail -- and so will their students.

Here here - get on board

Men's Rules for Women

Please note... they are all numbered '1' ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports; it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail, and witchcraft.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one! Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. ; We have NO idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really!

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Incentives and Education

Not an easy question and one many parents face challenges deciding on the best strategy. According to this article int he NY Times: Rewards for Students Under a Microscope the consensus appears to be that this is a bad idea. Creating a link between rewards and learning behavior creates an expectation for that reward. When the reward is removed the incentive is gone and behavior reverts to the original position:

For decades, psychologists have warned against giving children prizes or money for their performance in school. “Extrinsic” rewards, they say — a stuffed animal for a 4-year-old who learns her alphabet, cash for a good report card in middle or high school — can undermine the joy of learning for its own sake and can even lead to cheating.

So it may drive short term gain but the longer term suffers with reduced incentive and changing behavior and expectations based on rewards that cannot continue. We are also creating an expectation that drives stress higher:

There are suggestions of students making in the thousands of dollars. The stress of that, for kids from homes with no money, I frankly think it’s unconscionable.”

Good point and it seems like society has a general amnesia on the topic - in 1993 Alfie Kohn, published a book “Punished by Rewards: The Trouble With Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A’s, Praise and Other Bribes” which remains valid today

So what to do: A simple reward strategy without high economic value appears to be best. Verbal praise works well!

"The higher the interest, he said, the more harmful the reward"

To borrow from some thoughts on presentation and distractions - it is up to the presenter to make the presentation interesting that people are not distracted to check e-mail, blackberry, iPhone etc. If they are doing that then the presenter is not doing a good enough job. Teaching and learning is the same - it has to be made interesting so that the student wants to learn

Facebook and Kids

A recent posting on the NY times all about Facebook for parents made for fun reading and the blog linked to this When you're Kid Won't Friend You was enlightening... My kids are embarrassed I have a facebook - I joined immediately and my favorite quote was this posting from Barbara Rockicki:

I live to embarrass my kids as my parents did me ~ pay it forward !

Reminding me of my childhood and the embarrassment I caused my own parents who were quick to distance themselves from em whenever I created a commotion....in one memorable incident when I was accompanied by my aunt who spoke little English I hit the emergency stop button on escalator during a Christmas shopping visit. My poor Aunt was very embarrassed and had a very hard time getting out of the store quickly enough!

Does Stanford University really have to offer a course Facebook for Parents.....there should be some entrepeneuring young teen something who could do a better job than some stuffy old professor and make a few bucks as well!
In all of this is balance and an important point from the NY Times Blog

my past was no guide to their present

This is probably even more true today given the rapid changing world. We can't possibly envisage the way we will interact int eh future given how much has changed in such a short time.

To quote a good friend of mine "the idea that the clock ticks and suddenly your child is 18 and responsible is ridiculous"....it's true and no amount of controlling up to that point will prepare and help your children be prepared so balance between control, guidance and involvement is key but I know hard to find and something I personally continue to search for

Social Networking Basics

Social networking - all the rage or a flash in the pan.....?

175 Million Facebook users can't be wrong - or so it would seem but what does it all mean - well below are a collection of videos on Social Networking that explain the concepts in general and as it relates to Bookmarking, RSS, Blogging, Twitter and Podcasting and Wikis

Social Networking Basics




Blogs




Social Bookmarking in Plain English (Del.Icio.Us)




Twitter




Podcasting




Wikis




You can find me online at:

Twitter
Technorati
RSS Feed - Speech Understanding
RSS Feed - Navigating Healthcare
RSS Feed - This Blog!
Linked-In
Plaxo
Facebook
del.icio.us
And at work:
M*Modal - Speech Understanding www.mmodal.com

Twitter - 5 Steps to Getting Started

The NY Times technology column reviewed Twitter in this enlightening piece - "Twitter? It's What You Make It" and after being pushed to look into the concept by readers. The fear

I’d been avoiding it, because it sounded like yet another one of those trendy Internet time drains.

But as he discovers:

there’s nothing quite like Twitter. It’s a Web site where you can broadcast very short messages — 140 characters, max — to anyone who’s signed up to receive them. It’s like a cross between a blog and a chat room.

And he as he notes can include a few friends or almost 1/4 million people in the case of President Barack Obama (no messages since taking office - sigh)

The over riding message:

Twitter is whatever you want it to be

It is an interesting addition to connectivity - it may not suit everyone but "Don't knock it till you've tried it". Even in my own household not everyone is on board but I feel they are in a similar state to those that say No to

• telephone
• cellphone
• faxes
• televisions
• radio
• 
  

These media can have a positive and negative effect, it is all a question of how you use it and how it fits in your world. So five suggestions on how to get started with twitter

1. Find one of your friends who uses it and thinks its good - join and follow them
2. Look at the Guides on etiquette
3. Don't be afraid to friend or unfriend
4. Don't be afraid to ask - I have had good experiences with people helping
5. And if you find someone interesting check out who they follow and try following these people as well

And as a start - you could follow me click the link and then select follow (you will need a Twitter account to do this)

It's fun, easy and this can be done from anywhere your smart phone works

PostScript:
A Great article with good links to twitter tools: "10 Great Twitter Tools"

H1-B Indentured Servitude

Bitter personal experience means I have a lot of sympathy with these folks who are currently looking at the downturn not just as a loss of income but potentially a requirement to leave the country. Silicon Valley news article "Layoffs mean more than lost wages for H1-B Visa Holders" is a terrible situation and one that does nothing to help attract future talent.
The H1-B program is broken, treating foreign workers will push more away from the country and will make it harder to attract the talent that has helped build this country.

Web Pages closed on Sunday

This is a first for me - York Furnaces is closed on Sunday. This is not a web site note taking orders and not shipping.... this is a web site that actually "closes







The site Arnold’s Service Company has a different web page for Sunday's. I had visited earlier int he week when my furnace broke. Did not have time to follow through and after interim repair the urgency was removed. Problems returned Saturday evening and I went back only to find the site was

....closed this Sabbath Day to Praise God and the Lord Jesus! We have been blessed in Many Many ways, including great potential customers like you! Thanks so much for visiting our website! We will be back in business early Monday morning. Please check back early Monday Morning. We would love to have your business!

I just don't get it.... the main page remains intact with all the products but clicking on the links changes to refer you to a page to say they are closed and asking you to return on Monday. I understand that some people have the luxury of not working on a Sunday and recognize I might not get something I order on a Sunday but going to all that effort to change the page every week to switch off the order pages that unless they are different on all other web based order systems simply generate orders that are then ready to be filled why would anyone do this. Allow people to order but explain like may sites do that order times and processing are only done on business days.....?

iPhone, Outlook Calendar and Synchronization

What a disastrous couple of days......
I noticed by chance a couple of days back that an appointment I had entered into my calendar on outlook was not synchronizing with the iPhone Calendar.
The appointment was a little unusual in that it recurred same day, same time for a full year, but not that unusual.

After a few failed attempts to re-synchronize and to use the "Replace" option under the advanced options for the iPhone Calendar




Still no joy and mounting frustration. Then I decided to restore the iPhone and delete all the information thinking if I just reloaded the calendar from scratch this would solve the problem. All this did was leave me with an empty calendar. Meanwhile all the other synchronizations were working - the contacts, music, bookmarks etc

Searching the web for terms like "outlook events not syncing 2007 itunes xp" provided some useful links and this link on the Get Satisfaction site proved most useful

My iPhone calendar will not sync with Outlook 2007

Halfway down was an extended list of actions suggested by Bled Edge that provided some helpful guidance but what was a missing was an underlying cause. Different solutions had worked for different people and no real explanation of what was going on. Was it an iPhone problem, was it Outlook/Microsoft and why was it occurring.

I had the fortune of access to another iPhone to try that was loaded with the same version of firmware and was clean, almost new. When I tried this it failed to sync the calendar but everything else synchronized.

I created a new Outlook profile and copied all the information across from the old profile but still no success. But the mistake here was copying in full the appointments from one Outlook pst file to the new one.

I believe the problem is caused by a rogue appointment in outlook. No idea which one or why but it prevents any further appointments form being synchronized and if the time it takes to synchronize is giving any in indication I would say the software is actually synchronizing but the results are not showing (see below for more evidence of that)

Since creating a new outlook profile is not small task I decided instead of doing this all over again I would delete all my appointments (a big challenge because I have a lot of invites and each of these wanted to send a cancellation - quick fix, let the cancellation notices be created but make sure outlook does not automatically send e-mail and then delete all the outgoing messages before they are sent)

Then I copied a few appointments to the empty calendar and created one new one. This time the iPhone calendar synchronization worked..... but interestingly I believe there was more appointments than I had in my outlook calendar which leads me to believe they were there (despite my calendar showing it was empty) and when the synchronize finally worked then the appointments that had been previously sent showed up.

Careful copying of appointments and re synchronization at various intervals allowed me to create a working copy of my calendar on my iPhone and now I am left with the task of cleaning up the calendar and checking for omissions.

Other steps that could work if I am right include using the outlook PST Scan tool (scanpst), exporting all your appointments and re-importing them and creating a new profile that does not have all the appointments copied across.

Hope this helps someone

The Police Blotter

Some great clips from the police Blotter section of various local newspapers

GE Mammogram Dishwasher

Adverts pulled from papers.....

Two Million Minutes

The Global examination of education at Two Million Minutes makes for interesting reading:

Regardless of nationality, as soon as a student completes the 8th grade, the clock starts ticking. From that very moment the child has approximately -

…Two Million Minutes until high school graduation…Two Million Minutes to build their intellectual foundation…Two Million Minutes to prepare for college and ultimately career…Two Million Minutes to go from a teenager to an adult

How a student spends their Two Million Minutes - in class, at home studying, playing sports, working, sleeping, socializing or just goofing off -- will affect their economic prospects for the rest of their lives.

Pay attention - the clock is ticking

School Choices - Stress Increases

As reported in the NY Times: Middle School Scramble - New York has created hundreds of new schools and centralized the admission process but noe of thsi has diminshed every parents fear that "picking the wrong school could dash their children's chances for a top high school"

The downturn will likely add to the anxiety and fear and it remains a high stakes activity that is for many parents myself included a stressful and difficult exercise