30 December 2009

Amazing Card Trick

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Wisdom from Military Manuals

Wisdom from Military Manuals


 'If the enemy is in range, so are you.' - Infantry Journal-

 'It is generally inadvisable to eject directly over the area you just bombed.' - US Air Force Manual

 'Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword, obviously never encountered automatic weapons.' - General MacArthur -

 'You, you, and you ... Panic. The rest of you, come with me.' - U.S. Marine Corp Gunnery Sgt.-

 'Tracers work both ways.' - U.S. Army Ordnance Manual-

 'Five second fuses only last three seconds.' -Infantry Journal -

The three most useless things in aviation are: Fuel in the bowser; Runway behind you; and Air above you. -Basic Flight Training Manual-

 'Any ship can be a minesweeper. Once.' - Maritime Ops Manual -

 'Never tell the Platoon Sergeant you have nothing to do.' - Unknown Marine Recruit-

 'If you see a bomb technician running, try to keep up with him.' -USAF Ammo Troop-

'Yea, Though I Fly Through the Valley of the Shadow of Death, I Shall Fear No Evil.  For I am at 50,000 Feet and Climbing.' - Sign over SR71 Wing Ops-

 'You've never been lost until you've been lost at Mach 3.' -Paul F.. Crickmore (SR71 test pilot)-

 'The only time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.' -Unknown Author-

 'If the wings are traveling faster than the fuselage it has to be a helicopter -- and therefore, unsafe.' - Fixed Wing Pilot-

 'When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash.' -Multi-Engine Training Manual-

 'Without ammunition, the USAF is just an expensive flying club.' -Unknown Author-

 'If you hear me yell; "Eject, Eject, Eject!", the last two will be echoes.' If you stop to ask "Why?", you'll be talking to yourself, because you're the pilot.'  -Pre-flight Briefing from a 104 Pilot-

 'What is the similarity between air traffic controllers and pilots? If a pilot screws up, the pilot dies; but If ATC screws up, .... the pilot dies.'   -Sign over Control Tower Door-

 'Never trade luck for skill.' -Author Unknown-

The three most common expressions (or famous last words) in military aviation are: 'Did you feel that?' 'What's that noise?' and  'Oh S...!'  Or as (appended from the Texas Air National Guard): "Hold my beer and watch this!"  -Authors Unknown-

 'Airspeed, altitude and brains. Two are always needed to successfully complete the flight.' -Basic Flight Training Manual-

 'Mankind has a perfect record in aviation - we have never left one up there!' - Unknown Author -

 'Flying the airplane is more important than radioing your plight to a person on the ground incapable of understanding or doing anything about it.' - Emergency Checklist-

 'The Piper Cub is the safest airplane in the world;  it can just barely kill you.' - Attributed to Max Stanley (Northrop test pilot) -

 'There is no reason to fly through a thunderstorm in peacetime.'  -Sign over Squadron Ops Desk at Davis-Montham AFB, AZ-

 'If something hasn't broken on your helicopter, it's about to.' - Sign over Carrier Group Operations Desk-

 'You know that your landing gear is up and locked when it takes full power to taxi to the terminal.' - Lead-in Fighter Training Manual -

 As the test pilot climbs out of the experimental aircraft, having torn off the wings and tail in the crash landing, the crash truck arrives.

The rescuer sees a bloodied pilot and asks, 'What happened?' The pilot's reply: 'I don't know, I just got here myself!'  

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Laws of Golf

**Laws of Golf**

LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, you should have Inner peace knowing that a shittier one is yet to come. (This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.)

LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.

LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. (Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.  Expensive clubs have been known to be partly made with this most unusual natural alloy.)

LAW 4: Golf balls never bounce off of trees back into play.  If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.

LAW 5: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all His playing partners must solemnly chant  "You looked up," or invoke the  wrath of the universe.

LAW 6: The higher a golfer's handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.

LAW 7: Every par-three hole in the world has a secret desire to humiliate golfers.  The shorter the hole, the greater its desire.

LAW 8: Palm trees eat golf balls.  

LAW 9: Sand is alive. It will swallow your balls.

LAW 10: A golfer hitting into your group will always be bigger than anyone in your group. Likewise, a group you accidentally hit into will consist of a football player, a professional wrestler, a convicted murderer and an IRS agent -- or some similar combination.

LAW 11: All 3-woods are demon-possessed.

LAW 12: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (See LAW 3).

LAW 13: A severe slice is a thing of awesome power and beauty.

LAW 14: The person you would most hate to lose to will always be the one who beats you.

LAW 15: The last three holes of a round will automatically adjust your score to what it really should be.

LAW 16: Golf should be given up at least twice per month.

LAW 17: All vows taken on a golf course shall be valid only until the sunset.

LAW 18: Since bad shots come in groups of three, your fourth consecutive bad shot is really the beginning of the next group of three.

LAW 19: When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you should have continued watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.

LAW 20: The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about your swing.

LAW 21: If it isn't broke, try changing your grip.

LAW 22: Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.

LAW 23: A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponent's luck.

LAW 24: It's surprisingly easy to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 8.

LAW 25: Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.

LAW 26: Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.

LAW 27: It's not a gimme if you're still away.

LAW 28: The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.

LAW 29: You can hit a 2-acre fairway 10% of the time, and a 2-inch branch  90% of the time.

LAW 30: Every Time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the Universe.

LAW 31: If you want to hit a 7-iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.

LAW 32: There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is wearing the glove.

LAW 33: Hazards attract; fairways repel.

LAW 34: You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.

LAW 35: A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.

LAW 36: Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.

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The Internet Making Magpies of us All

Fascinating and thought provoking piece in the London Times by Ben Mcintyre - The Internet is Killing Storytelling. As he puts it
Click, tweet, e-mail, twitter, skim, browse, scan, blog, text..Addicted to the BlackBerry, hectored and heckled by the next blog alert, web link or text message, we are in state of Continual Partial Attention
Turning us into
The internet has evolved a new species of magpie reader, gathering bright little buttons of knowledge, before hopping on to the next shiny thing
Most concerning is the statistic from Microsoft researchers
Microsoft researchers have found that someone distracted by an e-mail message alert takes an average of 24 minutes to return to the same level of concentration.
Which is why my e-mail stays off most of the day and I do e-mail in batch mode turning off the little alerts that tell me a new e-mail has arrived! The effects are so bad MIT even set up a new unit: "Centre for Future Storytelling" which may sound crazy but given that storytelling was the bedrock of civilization for so long preservation seems important if not essential. Where this will end up is anyone's guess but the world is changing and we may lose some of the storytelling and narrative obscured "by a blizzard of byte-sized information"
A story, God knows, is still the most powerful way to understand. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word, in the great narrative that is the Bible, was not written as twitter

20 December 2009

Digging out from 2' of Snow

It has been an busy and fun day digging out from the snow storm - a record breaker for this area hitting 16.5" in Reagan National Airport and definitely reaching 2' in our area. A full day snowing starting at around 8pm on Friday evening and going on all day Saturday - it really was fun to be out in the snow

Like all Labs our dog was at home int eh snow and loving every second but none of us lasted long. Sweeping the driveway was an exercise in futility as no soon as I had finished but the top was covered with another few inches. Sunday became dig out day:

The height of snow on the barbecue is right up at 2' and that's a lot to shift some of it by hand.

Soem paused to eat snow:

and racing was much harder in some of the drifts that went up to 3 - 4'

But cleared it was

Fortunately with some help given the size of the piles

At the end of the day it makes a beautiful picture

Which just looks great at night time

We will certainly be having a White Christmas here

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18 December 2009

Have a Woofing Chistmas

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Christmas Trees From Around The World

Make sure you go all the way to the bottom - the picture and  information about Arlington Cemetery in the winter, before Christmas is beautiful!

The Capitol Christmas tree in Washington , D.C. , is decorated with 3,000

ornaments that are the handiwork of U.S. schoolchildren. Encircling

evergreens in the 'Pathway of Peace' represent the 50 U.S. states.

The world's largest Christmas tree display rises up the slopes

of Monte Ingino outside of Gubbio, in Italy 's Umbria region.

Composed of about 500 lights connected by 40,000 feet of wire,

the 'tree' is a modern marvel for an ancient city

A Christmas tree befitting Tokyo's nighttime neon display is

projected onto the exterior of the Grand Prince Hotel Akasaka.

Illuminating the Gothic facades of Prague's Old Town Square ,

and casting its glow over the manger display of the famous

Christmas market, is a grand tree cut in the Sumava mountains

in the southern Czech Republic .

Venice's Murano Island renowned throughout the world

for its quality glasswork is home to the tallest glass tree

in the world. Sculpted by master glass blower Simone

Cenedese, the artistic Christmas tree is a modern

reflection of the holiday season.

Moscow celebrates Christmas according to the Russian Orthodox

calendar on Jan. 7.  For weeks beforehand, the city is alive with

festivities in anticipation of Father Frost's arrival on his magical

troika with the Snow Maiden.

He and his helper deliver gifts under

 the New Year tree, or yolka, which is traditionally a fir.

The largest Christmas tree in Europe (more than 230 feet tall)

can be found in the Praça do Comércio in Lisbon, Portugal.

Thousands of lights adorn the tree, adding to the special

enchantment of the city during the holiday season.

'Oh Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree': Even in its humblest attire,

aglow beside a tiny chapel in Germany's Karwendel mountains,

a Christmas tree is a wondrous sight.

Ooh la la Galeries Lafayette! In Paris, even the Christmas trees are chic.

With its monumental, baroque dome, plus 10 stories of lights and

high fashion, it's no surprise this show-stopping department store draws

more visitors than the Louvre and the Eiffel Tower.

In addition to the Vatican's heavenly evergreen, St. Peter's Square

in Rome hosts a larger-than-life nativity scene in front of the obelisk.

The Christmas tree that greets revelers at the Puerta del Sol

is dressed for a party. Madrid's two-week celebration makes

millionaires along with merrymakers. On Dec. 22, a lucky citizen

will win El Gordo (the fat one), the world's biggest lottery..

A token of gratitude for Britain's aid during World War II,

the Christmas tree in London's Trafalgar Square has been

the annual gift of the people of Norway since 1947.

Drink a glass of gluhwein from the holiday market at the Romer

Frankfurt's city hall since 1405 and enjoy a taste of Christmas past.

Against a backdrop of tall, shadowy firs, a rainbow trio of

Christmas trees lights up the night (location unknown).





I wonder why the press hasn't enlightened the public about it??

Arlington National Cemetery

Rest easy, sleep well my brothers.

Know the line has held, your job is done.

Rest easy, sleep well.

Others have taken up where you fell, the line has held.

Peace, peace, and farewell...

Readers may be interested to know that these wreaths -- some 5,000 -- are donated by the Worcester Wreath Co. of Harrington, Maine . The owner, Merrill Worcester, not only provides the wreaths, but covers the trucking expense as well. He's done this since 1992. A wonderful guy. Also, most years, groups of Maine school kids combine an educational trip to DC with this event to help out. Making this even more remarkable is the fact that Harrington is in one the poorest parts of the state.

Please share this with all your friends. You hear too much about the bad things people do. Everyone should hear about this.


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Forget all the strange football plays you have ever seen

Download now or watch on posterous
touchdown.wmv (5374 KB)

Looks like a rugby game to me!

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17 December 2009

Photography done well!

Sit back and enjoy the stunning pictures

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Launching a boat the wrong Way

This was this guy's first boat and he was taking it to the lake, but he 
wasn't quite sure of the correct procedure for launching a boat off a ramp.

However, he figured it couldn't be that difficult to do, so he stopped by his Union office for advice, and they just told him...

"Don't let the trailer get too deep in the water when you're launching your boat".

Well later on, he couldn't understand what they meant by that, as he just could barely get his trailer in the water!

Here's a picture worth a "thousand' words!

Your gonna love this guy!!!


 Defies comment!

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16 December 2009

Current Affairs Quiz - 12

What do you score

Take the test

I promise...no questions about Paris or Lindsey or Tiger. This should take you no more than 120 seconds.
You can never underestimate the intelligence of the American people.  This is appalling.
There are no tricks here - just a simple test to see if you are current on your information.
This is quite good and the results are shocking.
Test your knowledge with 12 questions, then be ready to shudder when you see how others did.

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15 December 2009

Both Philosophies Work

Both philosophies work…….just depends on your mood J

Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.

Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!

To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.

Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix.  Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.

Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!

If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'

If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto:  I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.

Celery?  Never heard of it!

Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.

Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink!  All your pains go away! 

Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.

Leftover wine?????????? HELLO!!!!!!!

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