31 July 2009

Rules of marriage As Described by Kids

Rules of marriage as described by kids...


1. HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
-You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff.. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10

-No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. – Sarah age 9


2. WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
-Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille, age 10


3. HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF 2 PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
-You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8


4. WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
-Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8


5. WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
-Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

-On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date. -- Martin, age 10


6. WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
-When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7

-The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that. - - Curt, age 7

-The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. - - Howard, age 8


7. IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
-It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them. -- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)


8. HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
-There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8


And the #1 Favorite is...
9. HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
-Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck . -- Ricky , age 10

27 July 2009

Universal Laws

Law of Mechanical Repair – After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
Law of Gravity – Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of Probability -The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of Random Numbers – If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers.
Law of the Alibi – If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law – If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time).
Law of the Bath – When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. (or in my case the kids and the dog walk in)
Law of Close Encounters -The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
Law of the Result – When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will..
Law of Biomechanics – The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Law of the Theater and Hockey Arena – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last and they are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over while those in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and who stay to the bitter end of the performance and beyond. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
The Starbucks Law – As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy’s Law of Lockers – If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Physical Surfaces – The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Logical Argument – Anything is possible if you don’t know what you are talking about.
Brown’s Law of Physical Appearance – If the clothes fit, they’re ugly.
Oliver’s Law of Public Speaking – A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson’s Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy – As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it.
Doctors’ Law – If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you’ll feel better. Don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

16 July 2009

UFO's All But Disappeared

Does it not strike anyone else as strange but the recurring sightings we have seen over the last few decades have all but stopped? Strikes me the huge penetration of camera phones and instant picture world we would see even more since the opportunity to catch the revealing pictures and share them are now widely available

Maybe the "visitors" are more secretive and therefore don't get discovered? If so why would they change their pattern from before?

We can get instantaneous updates of what the latest celebrity is up to. We saw pictures of Captain Sully's emergency landing on the Hudson. SO why no UFO's?

Hmmm - could it be that this was has suggested that the stories from our past all have logical real world explanations