29 November 2010

What Have we Learned

What have we learned in 2,064 years?

 
 "The budget should be balanced, the Treasury should be refilled, public debt should be reduced, the arrogance of officialdom should be tempered and controlled, and the assistance to foreign lands should be curtailed lest  Rome become bankrupt. People must again learn to work,  instead of living on public assistance."
                                                         -  Cicero   - 55 BC

    Evidently nothing

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28 November 2010

How to Buy a Bud Light Discreetly

Brutus - K9 Congressional Meal of Honor

Thought  you might like to know about this dog  
and  his story. I especially like the ending ........  

A  Pet's  Ten Commandments............ at the  end.
Please be sure to read them  too.


The K9  above is Brutus, a military K9 at  
McChord..
 He's huge  - part Boxer and part 
British Bull Mastiff  and tops the scales at 
200 lbs. His handler  took the picture. Brutus 
is running toward  me because he knows 
I have some Milk Bone  treats, so he's 
slobbering away! I had to  duck around a tree 
just before he got to me  in case he couldn't 
stop, but he did. Brutus  won the 
Congressional Medal of Honor last  year 
from his tour in Iraq  . His handler and four 
other soldiers were  taken hostage by insurgents. 
Brutus and his  handler communicate by sign 
language and he  gave Brutus the signal that 
meant 'go away  but come back and find me'. 
The Iraqis paid  no attention to Brutus. He 
came back later  and quietly tore the throat 
out of one guard  at one door and another 
guard at another  door. He then jumped against 
one of the  doors repeatedly (the guys were 
being held  in an old warehouse) until it opened. 
He  went in and untied his handler and they all  
escaped. He's the first K9 to receive this  honor. 
If he knows you're ok, he's a big old  lug and 
wants to sit in your lap. Enjoys the  company 
of cats..
 K-9  Congressional Medal of Honor 
Winner.Thought  you'd find this interesting.
 
Talk  about animal intelligence and bonding  
with humans! 
Remember  that they can't do a lot of things for  themselves 
and that  they depend on you to make their life a quality  life!
 
A  PET'S TEN COMMANDMENTS......... 
1. My  life is likely to last 10-15 years.  
     Any separation from you is likely to be  painful.
 
2.  Give me time to understand what you want of  me.
3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial  for my well-being.
 
4.  Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock  me up as 
     punishment. You have your work, your friends,  your 
     entertainment, but I have only  you.
 
5.  Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your  words, I do 
      understand your voice when speaking to  me.
 
6. Be  aware that however you treat me, I will never  forget it. 
7.  Before you hit me, before you strike me,  remember that 
     I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite  you.
 
8.  Before you scold me for being lazy or  uncooperative, 
     ask yourself if something might be bothering me.  
     Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have  been in 
     the sun too long, or my heart might be getting  old or weak.
 
9.  Please take care of me when I grow old.  
     You too, will grow old.
 
10 On  the ultimate difficult journey, go with me  please. 
      Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me  face 
      this alone. Everything is easier for me if you  are there, 
      because I love you so.
~Take a moment today  to thank God for your pets. 
    Enjoy and take good care of  them.
 
  Life would be a much duller, less joyful  experience 
    without God's critters.
 
~Now  please pass this on to other pet owners.  
    We do not have to wait for Heaven, to be  surrounded 
     by hope, love, and joyfulness. It is here on  earth and 
     has four legs! 
Instructions  for properly hugging a  baby:
1. First, uh, find a  baby.

2. Second, be sure that  the object you found was
indeed a baby by  employing classic sniffing techniques.  


3. Next you will need to  flatten the baby before actually beginning the  hugging process. 


4. The 'paw slide' Simply  slide paws around baby and prepare for possible  close-up. 


5. Finally, if a camera  is present, you will need to execute the  difficult and patented 
'hug, smile, and  lean' so as to achieve the best photo quality.  

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Shortest holdup

Download now or watch on posterous
Shortest_holdup.wmv (717 KB)

See if you can guess what happens next - bet you get it wrong......

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Cool piece of art - Fmaily Tree

The name of this piece of art is “family tree”

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27 November 2010

Bad Parrot

BAD Parrot

A  young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The
parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse  vocabulary.

Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious
and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to
change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could
think of to 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot.
The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the
parrot got angrier and even more rude. John, in desperation,
threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the
freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked
and screamed.
Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard
for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened
the door to the freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out
onto John's outstretched arms and said "I believe I
may have offended you with my rude language and
actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my
inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do
everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude.

As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a
dramatic change in his behavior, the bird spoke-up, very
softly, "May I ask what the turkey did?"


HAPPY THANKSGIVING

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Great Shopping Bags - so many to choose from

ASPE Crime Stories Bag

Ann Summers - Kinky Whip

Shumensko Beer Crate

Volkswagen Golf GTI Bag

Greenpeace - Give Me Your Hand

Children with Autism

Stop'n grow: Nailbiter

Gaia: Animals Torture

Sawney Bean - Cannibal of Scotland

YKM Shopping Bag: Jump Rope

Fitness

Blush Lingerie: X-Ray Bag (My favourite!!!)

Wheaties Shopping Bag

Headhunting Agency Shopping Bag

Tom of Finland Shopping Bag

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Pencil Sharpener Art

Brandk Names from China

BRAND NAMES FROM CHINA 
 

Must be Good !?

‘Be gone’, I say!.



Not to be confused with ‘Hetero’ sausage.





Insect repellent? Are you sure that’s what it’s for?





For Paris Hilton?





Good Luck! Bet it don't taste the same in a can ?




Soooo refreshing!





So that’s where SARS came from!





Only one thing better than regular Shito 

– new, improved Shito.





Spicy Hot Shit-o!




Hope thats not the the scent!!!!




What are you looking at me for ?





Mines Happy anyway!





So much better than old, stale ‘cok’!





Well of course, ‘Asse’ just had to be chocolate.





I really shouldn’t find this funny...





Wow!
 MEGAPUSSI!!!!





Hard to refuse!





I hope ‘Marie’ knows about this.





And they said it couldn’t be bottled.
 
Color is a worry though!

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