27 July 2012

Old men can still think fast.


 
TRESPASSERS……….
 

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An elderly man in the Atherton Tablelands (Queensland Australia) had owned a large farm for several years. 

He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.

He grabbed a twenty litre bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.  

As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. 

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!' 

The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.'

Holding the bucket up he said,
'I'm here to feed the crocodile...'

Some old men can still think fast.
 

 
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"This Is Not Your Bidness!"

Kar-azay_-_South_Beach_Tow_-_YouTube.wmv Watch on Posterous

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20 July 2012

17 July 2012

Alaska

The Haircut

The Haircut

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.

His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut. Then we'll talk about the car."

The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he'd settle for the offer, and they agreed on it.

After about six weeks his father said, "Son, you've brought your grades up and I've observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I'm disappointed you haven't had your hair cut."

The boy said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there's even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair."

(You're going to love the Dad's reply!)

"Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?"

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Awesome collection of Old Movie Photos

15 July 2012

Does a Horse Have a Lap

Here's a treat for all you animal lovers. Have a great day!
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 A baby horse on its mom's lap 

Some pictures just don't need captions. 

There is nothing like Mom's lap no matter who you are. This is precious !!!! 

This is a newborn offspring of Taskin, a Gypsy Stallion 

owned by Villa Vanners of Oregon . 

These pictures were taken immediately after his birth on April 6.  

The mare laid down, and then he trotted around and crawled right 

up into her lap.   

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

It's just one of those Animalriffic days 

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Mom, Dad, Uncle Jim ~~ ~~ ~~ DON'T MOVE YET!! 

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He's not my brother ~~ ~~ He's just HEAVY!!

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I promise I won't do it again, Momma! 

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Just wait a couple'a years and try that again! YEAH!!

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Come on, throw the ball, throw the ball, ~~ ~~ I'm ready ~~ ~~ yeah ~~ throw it!

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Hmmmmm. I know you think you understand what you thought I said, but I'm 

not sure that what you heard is what I actually meant! 

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We gotta get a bigger bed! 

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Hey, can I have a bite'a that?

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HEY!! What's with this 'warm spot' ? 

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You woke me up to tell me THAT??


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HIIIIEEEEEEYAAAAH!!! 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And then there's this: 

My wife was stopped for excessive speeding yesterday! 
She thought she could talk her way out of a ticket until the officer looked 
at our dog in the back seat.. 



SCROLL DOWN 
 
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This one is destined to become a classic! 
Send it to a friend who needs a smile.  

 


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12 July 2012

Higgs Boson Particle and Field Explained

Cms-event-candidate-higgs-2

An area of great interest for me and one that is so fundamental to our world I thought worth talking about. If you want to get a sense of science and how little we still don't know or understand I recommend you read 

A Short History of Nearly Everything - Bill Bryson - available here and in digital form eBook and audio. This form the opening paragraph

Welcome. And congratulations. I am delighted that you could make it. Getting here wasn't easy, I know. In fact, I suspect it was a little tougher than you realize. To begin with, for you to be here now trillions of drifting atoms had somehow to assemble in an intricate and intriguingly obliging manner to create you. It's an arrangement so specialized and particular that it has never been tried before and will only exist this once. For the next many years (we hope) these tiny particles will uncomplainingly engage in all the billions of deft, cooperative efforts necessary to keep you intact and let you experience the supremely agreeable but generally underappreciated state known as existence. 

concept worth sharing since there is a lot of interest right now following the announcement on July 4, 2012 at CERN that "CERN experiments observe particle consistent with long-sought Higgs boson"

The core of the announcement is a discovery of the heaviest boson to date at 125GeV with a 5 Sigma signal (translation - pretty sure it is an accurate reading...1 sigma means the results could be random fluctuations in the data, 3 sigma counts as an observation and a 5-sigma result is a discovery)

The results are preliminary but the 5 sigma signal at around 125 GeV we’re seeing is dramatic. This is indeed a new particle. We know it must be a boson and it’s the heaviest boson ever found,” said CMS experiment spokesperson Joe Incandela. “The implications are very significant and it is precisely for this reason that we must be extremely diligent in all of our studies and cross-checks

So what does it all mean (or how do I understand this without becoming an expert in particle & quantum physics and quantum

The history of the the Higgs Boson dates back to Peter Higgs prediction of a mass-generating Boson that was eventually given his name. Fast forward and we have been on the hunt for this elusive particle in large part because the detectors were either unable to see them at the energy levels or create sufficient energy in the collisions to generate the particle or evidence for the particle. But the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) stepped up the game and in 2011 we saw data suggestive of evidence of the particle and on Jul 4 CERN confirmed the data was even more convincing.

So what is the Higgs Boson - this page offers the top 5 winners to the competition in 1993 to produce an answer that would fit on one page to the question

‘What is the Higgs boson, and why do we want to find it?’

This explanation (<4 minuets) provides a good basic understanding of the underlying particle and physics

This animation shows the time lapse of the data as it evolved over time

And as the data was captured they applied this process to determine what they were looking at:

Higgs_aa

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05 July 2012

Kulula Air Lines


One upmanship on Southwest...? Never flown them - has anyone...?

Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously. Check out their new livery! And get a kick out of the comments at the end of the photos.





















WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR - SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN. 
Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg . Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining. 
Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported: 


On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, 
"People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it !" 
---o0o--- 

On another flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, 
"Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants." 
----o0o--- 

On landing, the stewardess said, 
"Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it 's something we'd like to have." 
----o0o--- 

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane." 
---o0o--- 

"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride." 
---o0o--- 

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: 
"Whoa, big fella. WHOA!" 
---o0o-- 

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo, a flight attendant on a flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted." 
---o0o--- 

From a Kulula employee: 
"Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised." 
---o0o--- 

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite." 
---o0o--- 

"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines." 
----o0o--- 

"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments." 
---o0o--- 

"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.." 
---o0o--- 

And from the pilot during his welcome message: 
"Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!" 
---o0o— 

Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said, 
"That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt." 
---o0o— 

Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, 
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!" 
---o0o— 

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal." 
---o0o— 

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a "Thanks for flying our airline". He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, 
"Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?" 
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it ?" 
The little old lady said, 
"Did we land, or were we shot down?" 
---o0o— 

After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg, the attendant came on with, 
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.." 
---o0o— 

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: 
"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways." 
---o0o— 

Heard on a Kulula flight: 
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing.. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."


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