17 November 2013

Zen

 
Zen Sarcasm
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2 The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted. 

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else. 

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet. 

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments 

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes. 

9. If at first you don't succeed...Skydiving is not for you. 

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach  him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. 




Aphorisms



1. The nicest thing about the future is…that it always starts tomorrow
2. Money will buy a fine dog…but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humor…you probably don't have any sense at all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining…as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is…when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions…you feel younger than everyone else looks?
9. Scratch a dog or cat…and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenager...who wants to buy a car.
11. There are no new sins…the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4 a.m....like, it could be the right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game"…when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where…'happy hour' is a nap.
15. Be careful about reading the fine print…there's no way you're going to like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that…not everybody has the same size bucket.
17. Do you realize that, in about 40 years…we'll have thousands of old ladies running around with tattoos and rap music will be the Golden Oldies!
18. Money can't buy happiness…but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a Cadillac than
in a Yugo.
19. After 80, if you don't wake up aching in every joint…you're probably dead.
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind and the ones that mind don't matter.
21. Life isn't tied with a bow…but it's still a gift.

Sports Quotes



"Last year we couldn't win at home and we were losing on the road. My failure as a coach was that I couldn't think of anyplace else to play."
- Harry Neale, professional hockey coach

"Blind people come to the ballpark just to listen to him pitch."
- Reggie Jackson commenting on Tom Seaver

"I'm working as hard as I can to get my life and my cash to run out at the same time. If I can just die after lunch Tuesday, everything will be perfect."
- Doug Sanders, professional golfer

"All the fat guys watch me and say to their wives 'See, there's a fat guy doing okay. Bring me another beer.'"
- Mickey Lolich, Detroit Tigers Pitcher

"When it's third and ten, you can have the milk drinkers; I'll take the whiskey drinkers every time."
- Max McGee, Green Bay Packers receiver

"I found out that it's not good to talk about my troubles. Eighty percent of the people who hear them don't care and the other twenty percent are glad you're having them."
- Tommy LaSorda, LA Dodgers manager

"My knees look like they lost a knife fight with a midget."
- E.J. Holub, Kansas City Chiefs linebacker regarding his 12 knee operations

"My theory is that if you buy an ice-cream cone and make it hit your mouth, you can learn to play tennis. If you stick it on your forehead, your chances aren't as good."
- Vic Braden, tennis instructor

"When they operated, I told them to add in a Koufax fastball. They did – but unfortunately it was Mrs. Koufax's."
- Tommy John N.Y. Yankees, recalling his 1974 arm surgery

"I don't know. I only played there for nine years."
- Walt Garrison, Dallas Cowboys fullback when asked if Tom Landry ever smiles

"We were tipping off our plays. Whenever we broke from the huddle, three backs were laughing and one was pale as a ghost."
- John Breen, Houston Oilers

"The film looks suspiciously like the game itself."
- Bum Phillips, New Orleans Saints, after viewing a lopsided loss to the Atlanta Falcons

"When I'm on the road, my greatest ambition is to get a standing boo."
- Al Hrabosky, major league relief pitcher

"I have discovered in 20 years of moving around the ball park, that the knowledge of the game is usually in inverse proportion to the price of the seats."
- Bill Veeck, Chicago White Sox owner

"Because if it didn't work out, I didn't want to blow the whole day."
- Paul Horning, Green Bay Packers running back on why his marriage ceremony was before noon.

"I have a lifetime contract. That means I can't be fired during the third quarter if we're ahead and moving the ball."
- Lou Holtz, Arkansas football coach

"I won't know until my barber tells me on Monday."
- Knute Rockne, when asked why Notre Dame had lost a game

"I tell him 'Attaway to hit, George.'"
- Jim Frey, K.C. Royals manager when asked what advice he gives George Brett on hitting

"I learned a long time ago that 'minor surgery' is when they do the operation on someone else, not you."
- Bill Walton, Portland Trial Blazers

"Our biggest concern this season will be diaper rash."
- George MacIntyre, Vanderbilt football coach surveying the team roster that included 26 freshmen and 25 sophomores.

"The only difference between me and General Custer is that I have to watch the films on Sunday."
- Rick Venturi, Northwestern football coach

16 November 2013

Awesome Collection of Rare photos



SOMEONE HAD TO REACH  WAY  
BACK TO GET THESE!
OLD AND RARE PICTURES -
DO NOT PASS THIS ONE UP.
CAPTIONS ON THE BOTTOM OF   
THE PICTURES
 
  
Jimi Hendrix & Mick Jagger, New York, 1969 (are they in jail?)




The Beatles and Cassius Clay, 1964


Martin Luther King Jr. And Marlon Brando


Danny DeVito and Christopher Reeve



Charlie Chaplin and Albert Einstein



Chuck Norris and Bruce Lee 


Paul Newman and Clint Eastwood


Henry Ford, Thomas Edison, Warren G. Harding,
and Harvey Firestone, 1921


Steve Jobs and Bill Gates


James Dean and Elizabeth Taylor




Ian Fleming and Sean Connery


Johnny Cash and Ray Charles



Elvis Presley and Tom Jones


Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, Elvis Presley
and Johnny Cash


Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong


Charlie Chaplin and Gandhi


 
Marilyn Monroe  and  Sammy Davis Jr.
 
 A Baby Boomer's Time Machine 







 
 




 

(and one 
never seen anywhere before JFK+MM)

 








Our World History in 2 Minutes

Click on the link below and 500 images will flash before you in two minutes.
That's a little over 4 images per second.
Just look and allow the images to wash over you...it is quite an experience.
Two minute history lesson. 
Don't blink!!
 

12 November 2013