15 April 2014

When Insults Had Class........


These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
 
  
 A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
· "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
  
 
 "He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
 
 
 "He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
 
 
 "I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
 
  
 "He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." –
William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
 
  
 "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
 
  
 "I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
 
  
 "He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
 
  
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend, if you have one." –
George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second .... if there is one." –
Winston Churchill, in response.
 
  
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
 
  
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
 
  
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
 
  
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
 
  
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
 
  
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
 
  
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
 
  
 "Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
 
  
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
 
  
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." - Oscar Wilde
 
 
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination." –
Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
 
  
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
 
  
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But I'm afraid this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
 


No comments: